Alice in the Capital of Wonderland
by T.O.M. Touch Trio
Summary: All of zose unawesome cousins of mine are totally in on something! (Ciciria-chan? Are you going to terr them about the story?) Oh right. Kekeke, it's ze queen of awesome here! I vould seem zat I have gotten myself lost and zose stupid losers won't help me out! (Why is it so hard to say 'When Königsberg forrows the white rabbit do-') Hey! Stop stealing my spotlight! BIG BROTHER!
1. Follow the Taiwanese Rabbit!

Königsberg sat under a huge oak tree, Athens laying on her lap, twitching her ears- and likely trying to drown out the sound of the Prussian's non stop bitching.

"I can't believe West vould _DARE_ kick me out just because I vas playing music too loud... und disrupting ze training und... Fighting viz Berlin, but STILL he can't do zat to ze Queen of Awesome!" She ranted, kicking her boot up over her knee.

Athens mewed, burying her head in Königsberg's jacket.

"See? I knew you vould agree!" Königsberg said with a satisfied grin and continued ranting.

"Crap! I'm late!"

Königsberg stopped, mid sentence and turned her head, "Vat ze hell?"

Taipei ran frantically across the field crying, holding a pocket watch, "I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" Over and over and over again.

"Vat are you late for? UND VHY ARE YOU VEARING BUNNY EARS?!" Königsberg cried, standing up and making Athens fall onto the ground.

When Taipei-bunny didn't stop or reply, Königsberg got angry, "I vast talking to you!" She stormed after him and very soon was running full speed towards the Taiwanese capital, "UND VATS VITH ZE GET UP?! YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A CHILDREN'S STORY BOOK! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ASIAN? ZAT'S ALL VERY EUROPEAN LOOKING ZERE! ZERE'S EVEN A TAILCOAT!"

Taipei didn't stop running and soon disappeared down a giant hole in the ground.

Königsberg peered down the hole, "Now you really are a rabbit!" She hmphed, "don't expect me to help you out of zere!" She called turning, just as she was about to walk away, the ground beneath her feet gave way and sent her tumbling down the hole, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" She demanded to no one as she fell down, down, down the never ending hole.

"Geez! Vill zis ever end?!" She demanded after a while, "after zis ridiculous fall, I vill have less zen no sympathy for anybody who dares complain to ze queen of awesome about falling down the stairs!- Vhy am I talking to myself?!" Königsberg said.

After a little while, shelves and cupboards began appearing, scattered, along the walls of the insane hole.

"Why ze hell vould you build cupboards in a hole?!" Königsberg snatched a jar off a shelf on the way past, "damn, just marmalade!" She groaned and put it on another shelf that she passed by, "I vonder if I'll fall right zrough ze Earth and come out in China? Vell, zen I'll just make Beijing take me back home!" she decided for herself.

Then, suddenly the ground came rushing towards her, "Crap!" She cried and hit the ground, "so... Am I dead now?" She moaned and sat up, "huh? I'm totally okay! Zat is so awesome!" She fist pumped, "ze awesome me can take any- vhere ze hell am I?" She was looking down a long hallway, "vell, I obviously can't go back up so logic dictates zat I go zis vay..." She yawned and started walking down the hallway, "ze Queen of Awesome shouldn't have to deal vith zis!"

Soon she spotted Taipei again, "Hey! Vhy ze hell did you lead ze awesome me down zis stupid hole?!"

"I'm late! Ugh! She'll kill me for this!" He moaned, hurrying along the hallway.

Königsberg started running towards him, "Do you not hear me talking to you, unawesome person?!" She demanded, _'you'd zink vith zose ridiculous ears, he vould be able to hear me!'_

Taipei didn't respond, only continued hurrying down the hallway, mumbling about being late.

She chased him to the end of the hallway... where he disappeared. Königsberg found herself in a circular room, the walls- or wall, how many walls does a circle shaped room have anyways? Well, Königsberg's too awesome to care- were lined with a great many doors. She went to the first door and turned the handle._ Locked_. She kicked it. _Ouch_. 'Ze awesome Königsberg went around and tried every door- minus the kicking- and found them all locked, "How annoyingly weird!" she huffed, "I svear, zis is something out of a story book or something!" she exclaimed. Königsberg turned to walk back down the hallway and see if she could defy logic and somehow get out of the hole, when she found that a small three legged glass table had appeared in the center of the room, "vhen ze hell did zat get zere?! Zis is so familiar somehow..."

On the table, she saw a tiny gold key, "... Vell, at least now I von't have to claw my vay out of zat hole- seriously! Vhy do I keep talking to myself?!" she snatched up the key and immediately set to trying to unlock all of the doors, although, unfortunately for her, all of the locks on the doors were too big, "HAHA VERY FUNNY!" she cried angrily, "danke! You trolled me, haha!" she was about to resume her plan to tell logic to take a hike when she saw yet another thing she hadn't seen before.

A curtain hanging in between two of the doors, when she pushed it aside, Königsberg found herself looking at a very tiny door, much less then half the size of the other doors, "..." she bent down and out the key in the lock hole, "so far, so good..." she turned it. _Click_. The door swung open, revealing a very beautiful garden on the other side... that Königsberg of course paid no attention to, "YES! ZE QUEEN OF AWESOME IS SO SMART!" she exclaimed to nobody, but was then faced with another problem.

She was too big to fit through the tiny door, no matter how she squeezed, the Prussian couldn't get herself past the door to the garden. She backed up and brushed herself off, seething and frustrated, "I svear, zat stupid Taipei vill DIE vhen I catch him!" she looked back at ze table, now sitting on top was a glass bottle with a worn out label reading_ 'Drink Me-** not for children under the age of 18**'_.

"Okay, who just put zat zere?" she demanded, picking up said bottle, "Who's messing viz ze Queen of Awesome?!"

Of course, there was no reply.

"Hmm... 'not for children under 18', eh?" she said, examining the label, "must be alcohol! Vell, right now I could really go for some beer... vhy ze hell not!" she shrugged and uncorked the bottle, "bottoms up!" she put the glass bottle to her lips and took a large gulp, before putting it back on the table, "vhat vas zat? Definitely not any kind of alcohol I've ever had! It tasted kind of like... cherry tarts, custard, pineapple, roast turkey,toffy, buttered toast- seriously, zat sounds vaaaaaay familiar!" she cried, only then noticing that she had shrunk down to ten inches.

"Vhy is ze awesome me so tiny?!" she demanded, "... vell... I gues now I'll be able to get out zat door!" she smirked with satisfaction and ran back over to the door, only to find it locked, "... zese fanfiction writers hate me!" she exclaimed in annoyance, "vhere is zat key?!" Königsberg began hunting around, but she couldn't find the gold key anywhere.

"Heeeeeey! Up here, Cicilia!"

Königsberg back up at the glass table, "Bucharest?! You're here too?!"

The gothic lolita smirked, his legs dangling over the edge of the table, "Just to get photos~" he said, swing his legs back and forwards.

"..?" Königsberg didn't bother asking, "have you seen a little gold key anyvhere?" she asked him, _'how did he get to be so tiny too?'_

"Yep~" Bucharest said, holding it up, "right here!"

"Give it to me!"

"No..."

"HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY ZE QUEEN OF AWESOME!"

Bucharest tapped his chin, "Have any photos on you? I seem to recall you joining the Photo Trading Game..."

"Vhat? No, I left all mein photos on mein desk!" she growled, "GIVE ME ZE FREAKING KEY!"

Bucharest put it back down on the table, "Nope, you're out of luck, Cicilia~ Sorry!" he jumped of the table, "have something to eat! It'll make you feel better!" he chuckled and ran out of the circle room.

"Zat bastard! He is also dead!" Königsberg shouted and began pacing, "Vhat do I do? How do I get ze key? Could I- WOAH!" she tripped.

When the Prussian got back to her feet she realized she'd tripped over a small glass box, "..." she opened the lid and found a small pink and blue iced cupcake, with the words 'Eat Me' spelled out, "... zis reminds me of 2p! Englang's food..." she sighed, "vell, vhat do I have to lose?" she said and took a large bite of the cupcake.

* * *

**Tokyo: Herro, again! Thank you for reading this fanfiction! *bows* you wirr notice there are- and are going to be- rots and rots of new characters! IF you are wondering who they are, feel free to ask and we wirr be more then happy to herp you out-**

**Königsberg: *pushes Tokyo out of the way* HEY! Unawesome reader! You better know me! I'm Ze Queen of Awesome!**

**Tokyo: Ciciria-chan!**

**(Shota-kun: Hey, thanks for reading! This chapter was pretty long, eh? We hope you enjoyed it and understood all of the references, please don't shoot us if you didn't get something! As for Athens being a cat... well... the only reason for that is because after starting the list of who was who, I announced to R-chan that it would be awesome if Athens was legitimately a cat~**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Kokutalia!)**


	2. Flood it!

_Bump._

The unfortunate Prussian felt her head bump against the ceiling, she dropped the freak cupcake, "Vell... I've never seen 2p! England's cooking have _zis_ affect on people..." she hmphed and bent down, picking the incredibly tiny key off the table and putting it in her jacket pocket, "now, how vill I get out zat door?! I have ze key... but now I'm so freakishly huge, I probably vouldn't even be able to fit one of mein awesome feet zrough ze door!"

Königsberg looked all around her, "If I can just find zat bottle of unfortunately not beer, ze awesome me vill be tiny again in no time!" but it seemed that whatever force was intent on bugging her had taken the bottle away, "... vhy? Just vhy?!" she demanded in annoyance, growing more and more furious with Taipei- for leading her down the hole-, Bucharest -for not giving her the key-. Germany- for kicking her out of the house-, and pretty much anyone else she could blame something on. Königsberg got herself so worked up, she lost her temper and kicked the wall- which she does a lot, but normally when she's a normal 5'5" Cicilia, not a 12 foot raging Prussian- so freaking hard, that her foot went through it and broke on of the pipes- because once again, THE GIRL'S TWELVE FREAKING FEET TALL!

"OW!" she jumped back, holding her foot, "stupid, unawesome pipe! Now vater's spraying everyvhere too!" indeed, the pipe she'd broken was squirting water all around the room. Königsberg held her hands over her face, "grr! Make it stoooooooooooop!" she commanded.

After few minutes of being drenched by pipe revenge, the water stopped coming and left only a very wet albino and two feet of water.

Königsberg groaned, "Now I'm stuck _und_ vet!"

Suddenly, she heard the sound of splashing and saw Taipei-Bunny, trekking through the watery hallway, looking at his pocket watch and holding a pair of white gloves along with a fan, "Oh no! She'll have a fit! I'm so late! I'm late! I'm late!"

"HEY! UNAWESOME PERSON! HELP ME OUT!" Königsberg yelled.

Taipei jumped, dropping the fan and gloves, and took off running.

She seethed,_ 'How dare he run away from ze queen of awesome AGAIN?!'_ Königsberg looked down at the fan and picked it up, since it was getting pretty hot in the hallway, she started fanning herself, "How could zis get any vorse?! I'm stuck, I'm freaking huge, und I'm soaking vet!" she leaned back against the wall, "I feel so much less awesome zen I did zis morning! I migh as vell be a different person! Like... zat unawesome loser Warsaw, or less awesome zen me Paris... or even Berlin! How unawesome vould zat be?! I vould have to be so closely related to Germany, I'd have unawesome blue eyes, I vouldn't be awesome, und I vould be boring und have bad taste in music!" Königsberg concluded her rant, "vait..." she checked her eyes in her compact. Still red. "und I am still awesome, und rock is still ze best music ever, und... I'll just have to assume I'm still only related to Germany because of Big Brother... nope I'm definitely not unawesome Berlin!"

It seemed that while Königsberg was busy making sure she wasn't her cousin/sister, Berlin- who would have been much better suited for this venture seeing as she was less cocky and actually named Alice!- she began shrinking again, in fact she didn't notice until the water rose up to her neck.

"Vhat ze hell!?" she dropped the fan, "how did- ugh! Vhere's the door?!" she knew she was the right size now, but a new problem had arisen, she couldn't see the door in all the water swirling around her.

She waded around towards the wall when suddenly her feet slipped out from under her and she tumbled under the water and was swept away in the current, "ACH MEIN GOTT!" she cursed under her breath as her head bobbed up for air. Königsberg looked about her for something, it seemed as though she was no longer simply in a hallway, it seemed to her now as if she really were lost in the middle of an ocean.

A little movement caught her eye, Königsberg spied a boy with curly hair and large mouse-y ears bobbing around in the water, although her first thought was,_ 'Vhy ze hell does he have mouse ears? Zis is unawesomely weird...' _she went with the second thought, "Hey! Mouse! Hilfe!" she called.

The boy looked over at her, but didn't seem to have a clue what she just said.

"Hmm... right, he isn't awesome enough to understand German... uh... how about French..." Königsberg took a breath and yelled out, "Aidez-moi!" _'Zat's probably right...'_

The mouse-boy paddle over to her, shyly, "Wh-what're you yelling about?"

"Oh, you speak English!" Königsberg observed, "you're unawesome Riga aren't you?

"... y-yeah..."

"Vhere's ze door?! I want to get out of ze water, it's getting mein awesome jacket vet!" she asked treading water.

Riga shrugged, his nose twitched, "I don't know about any door but I was just about to go back to shore to dry off..."

"Oh?! Zere's a shore? Zat vorks! Take me zere!" Königsberg announced, "Hmm... zis is kind of like zat one time I vas talking to Moscow-"

Riga looked as if he had a heart attack, "M-Moscow?!" he squeaked and started swimming away.

Königsberg grabbed on to his tail- now thankful for the random mouse costume, "Oh, no, you are not leaving ze awesome me! Fine, ve vill not talk about Moscow, but you have to take ze queen of awesome to ze shore!"

Riga whined quietly, "Okay... fine..!" he turned and started paddling again on in the other direction, with the Prussian trialing after him.

After a few moments, Königsberg could see the bank in the distance and just a few minutes later, he feet brushed against the bottom of the lake- which felt more like sand them carpet or wood but Königsberg was really just glad to have to promise of dry land so close, she started running out, splashing water up all around her, towards the shore. When she finally reached the water edge and looked up the bank she saw nothing like the hallway she'd last been in, more like a dismal beach on a cloudy day, and huddled together a little ways up in the sand was a group of the strangest people the awesome Prussian had ever seen.

* * *

**Tokyo: Herro! We finarry got around to finishing it!**

**Beijing: We've been really busy working on and organizing another fanfiction with the rest of the Kokutalia group, aru.**

**Tokyo: We habe confidence you wirr enjoy the new one when it comes out, we would habe more Capitars notes here, but we were the only ones working on it...**

**Beijing: It seems nobody else wants to, aru...**

**Königsberg: Hey, unawesome people! Don't forget me!**

**Beijing: Oh... *sweat drop***

**Tokyo: Gomen ne, Ciciria-chan!**

**(Shota-kun: Yep, Esder-chan and North-chan haven't been much help with this fanfic, I'll ask Shiddo-chan and XP-chan for help because I can't fruking write this alone, keep up with my own account, Quotev, DeviantArt, and my other crap! Sorry for my mini rant, thanks for reading)**


End file.
